Bar Review

Ok so let's just be honest... Sure why not!

I met my husband in a bar. And yes I'm LDS. Or Mormon as some people would call it.

So why would a nice LDS girl such as myself be in a bar? Well, I was up to no good and I wasn't exactly an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And I wasn't too proud of myself, and looking back, I'm still none too proud of my behavior back then, but I wouldn't be the strong person I am today without having gone through it.

There are a whole lot of "What Not To Dos" in that situation, but let's count the good things instead. Isn't it always nicer to count the good things in life? I think so.

So good things...

I found my forever companion. He may not be a member of the LDS church, but he is my forever companion. We'll be sealed one day.

My girls have a second father figure in their life.

My son has someone he can call about cars and other manly stuff and knows he can depend on the answers he receives to be straight-forward, honest, to-the-point, and informed.

I gained two great sons.

I also gained some perspective about myself and how I had been going about looking for Mr. Right. Needless to say, I learned a whole lot of "what not to do", but in the end I was able to determine what I'd done right.

First and foremost, I was myself. There were no pretenses. I was really in a "take it or leave it" mode. If he liked me, GREAT! If he didn't, well I didn't need him. I guess I was just ready to be me, not play games, and get to know a person.

Next, I was confident. I wasn't afraid to share about myself. I can't tell you how many photos of my kids I shared with him that night. I don't think I stopped talking about them most of the evening either. He knew what was most important to me.

Now I know you're asking me where are your kids while you're out at a bar meeting this guy who is now your husband?

So my eldest, my son, was in Colorado visiting his father. My girls were on their dad's days, or his half of the week, so I was free to do whatever I wanted without having to worry about the morning "walk of shame" or paying a babysitter until 8:00am when I returned home. All I needed to worry about was me, myself, and I.

Ok so the three of us, me, myself and I, were a very persuasive bunch. We, or I, managed to keep my husband away from a blind date his co-worker had set up. Remember, he wasn't my husband then, just some guy I'd just met. Apparently I was sufficiently charming and, just barely, a good enough dancer to make him want to stay around. He called his buddy and informed him that the date girl would be left hanging. Ah such is the life of 20-somethings I suppose. I don't know. I didn't really date when I was in my 20s. Sad but true.

And that's something I learned too. DATE!! Go on LOTS OF DATES! Meet lots of people. Learn what you like and don't like about people. It's OK to date many different people. It sure beats getting married and divorced three times, leaving yourself with three children and two baby-daddies. Instead, dating allows you the opportunity to get to know people slowly and make sure they're worth it when you decide to marry them. You're more likely to end up being married ONCE (it's important) and raising children TOGETHER in a single, non-dysfunctional family setting when you get to know someone first and take your time with dating.

I tell my girls they need to date a lot of boys when they get to be 16-years-old. YES 16! No boys allowed until then. Otherwise they have cooties. (Sorry boys, but it's for everyone's own good. I promise.)

Anyway, this bar gave me an opportunity to date an amazing man, who is honest and sweet and forgetful. He's a hard-worker (sometimes to a fault). He's handy to have around the house. He loves baseball and NASCAR. He roots whole-heartedly for the Trailblazers, Mariners, Seahawks, and Tony Stewart. He bemoans the Steelers, wishing they were better, but he loves them for better or for worse and has for the last 35 years.

This man is now, after 11 months of dating and 4 years and 9 months of living together, my husband. We have been together for over 7 years and this summer we will celebrate two years of marriage. We're in it for better, for worse, in sickness, in health, for richer, for poorer, through floods and remodels, college and graduating children, lacrosse and soccer games, dirty dishes and messy garages. We're in it for the long haul.

This nice LDS girl met the guy of her dreams in a bar one cold December night. The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. My husband and I have grown a lot together and as individuals, laughed more, and love every minute of our crazy life with our crazy kids.

It just goes to show you that each one of our journeys is different and we can always find a good path to travel, if you're willing to look for it, listen with all your might to the Spirit and follow those instructions. My path led me to Craig, led me back to the Gospel and is continuing to lead me in a positive direction.

Now my bar is made of iron and I hold on with all my might.