OK OK so I know I posted already today, but I felt compelled to do it again after church, especially after speaking to my friend, Heather. It's the Holy Ghost at work! She gave a great lesson about Strengthening the Family and she's not married and has no children. (Sorry Heather! I'm not trying to rub it in.) But she asked, "Why should I care about strengthening families when I don't have one?" Well the sisters (women) in Relief Society (The LDS Church's women's organization) set her straight really quick. It comes down to this: Heather does have a family. She has parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, and so on. And perhaps, she'll be married in the temple one day? Who knows? Anyway, Heather said writing this is such a great way of journalling so I guess I needed to write about Sunday School.
Today, Jeff gave a lesson on the scriptures. We talked about what they are by definition and what they are by title. Now the Christian world knows the Holy Bible. The LDS Church uses the King James version. However, we (the LDS Church) have several more pieces of scripture. There's the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, and what Jeff labeled as "Other". Well what's other? It's all the other stuff we've heard from prophets that isn't in the above mentioned books. It's talks from General Conference. It's articles from the Ensign magazine. It's other materials from the General Authorities of the Church. That's all scripture.
You see, we "Mormons" or members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believe we have a prophet on the earth today. As Jeff pointed out in class, with much sarcasm, things have changed a little bit since biblical times. Without the sarcasm, they've changed a LOT and with those changes, why would our Heavenly Father stop talking to us? Well, duh! He wouldn't! So we know we have current revelation and God lives and is as involved in our lives as we let Him.
Moving on... Jeff asked the class if anyone would share any spiritual, testimony building moments. Jeff shared about a choice he had to make on his mission and whether to swap out companions. John shared about when he was a boy. Wolfgang shared about some health trials he and his wife experience during one of her pregnancies. I wracked my brain and felt like the scriptures had never touched me, but once we defined the "Other" category, I realized I had been touched by the scriptures.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I don't read scriptures every day like I should and after today's lesson that's changing. I do know when I read, my day goes better. Nearly always. And if my day isn't a good one, I have strength and hope to get through it. Don't underestimate that power. It's important.
So my being touched by scripture came while live streaming October 2012's General Conference during the Saturday afternoon session. Elder Larry Echo Hawk of the Quorum of the Seventy spoke. His talk is called, "Come Unto Me, O Ye House of Israel". (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/come-unto-me-o-ye-house-of-israel?lang=eng) This talk made me cry and cry and blubber and cry some more. You see, Elder Echo Hawk is Pawnee and he's a convert to the Church. His story about being yelled at while in basic training for the Marine Corps reached into my heart and grabbed me. His exhortation for every person of Native American descent to read the Book of Mormon touched the very fabric of my soul. That day I made a pact to read the entire Book of Mormon. In fact, I challenged my younger sister, Andrea, to read it with me. We started on December 31st, 2012. Neither of us has finished it yet. I'm on Alma 15 and she's at 3 Nephi 6. On the bright side, both of us have read farther than we'd ever read before. She's actually about to come to the part where Christ visits the Nephites, a fact I learned today. (Thanks Jeff! I promise I was listening!)
I wanted to be sure I put my testimony down. I have a testimony that the scriptures are true. I have a testimony that the General Authorities are prophets, seers, and revelators in the modern day and they are here to guide us through these very troublesome times. I sustain them.
I am so glad to have heard Elder Echo Hawk's talk a year-and-a-half ago. I'm blessed to have received my endowments. Bishop, thank you for the "nudge" that was actually a shove!
I love this Gospel. It is truth.
These things I say in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
How Do You Accept a Non-Apology? With Charity. Duh!
So I play in a co-ed recreational indoor soccer league on Saturday evenings. I've twisted my ankle, jammed my toes, turf burned my knees and hands. I've even had my glasses broken when a ball kicked by a teammate slammed HARD into my face. Needless to say, the teammate apologized profusely and even offered to pay for a replacement pair of glasses. Said teammate is now good-naturedly ribbed for the incident and I refused to allow her to pay for my new glasses since I took the risk by wearing them while playing.
In this league, there are some teams that get a little TOO competitive given that it's a recreational league. They get angry when calls don't go their way. They kick the balls really hard, potentially causing injury to other players. They slam people smaller than themselves against the walls causing actual injuries. They trip. They push. They mouth off to the referee. You get the idea. Anyway, a few weeks ago, we were playing this team we've played before and this gal was mouthing off loudly after one of our players had been injured and I told her to be quiet and let the referee call the game. I think I told her, "Just stop talking." When she didn't, I said, "Shut up!" I was escorting our injured player off the field at the time and constantly running mouth really wasn't necessary.
Well the game continued after a moment or two, but it became more heated on both sides. Eventually, the mouthy gal and I were marking (guarding) one another when I gained advantage by poking the ball away from her by putting my legs between hers, a perfectly legal move. I didn't knock her down, but she seemed stunned I was that close to her. Later, near my team's goal, we were marking one another again when the ball was passed to her. In our efforts to gain control of the ball, she rolled her foot over the top of the ball, tripped over my feet and fell to the ground. As she was trying to get up, she swung in an effort to punch me. I did nothing, but walked away. Nothing was said about the incident until a teammate mentioned it to me after the game.
So last night, we played this team again. The only heated moment was when a guy didn't like the referee's call about a handball, but really things were fine. At one point, this gal and I were marking one another again near her team's goal. She says to me, "Hey no hard feelings about the game a few weeks ago?" I responded with "I just don't like being swung at." In my mind, this was NOT an apology.
I have children. They do and say things to one another to hurt feelings and all that. When I get involved apologies happen. Words like "I'm sorry..." and "I apologize..." come from their mouths. They acknowledge what they did wrong and accept responsibility for their actions. But what the gal said to me wasn't any of that. A friend of mine said, "Humble enough to suggest guilt, proud enough not to say, "I'm sorry,"" He said it was a halfway effort. He's right. But why make the effort it you're not going to go all the way?
So as I was contemplating what to say here, I thought about forgiveness and forgetting. Now I forgive her behavior, but she won't know that unless she apologizes, because she hasn't acknowledged what she did. However, I won't forget her behavior, at least so I don't get sucker-punched the next time we play and she's frustrated. I looked up the definition of apology and according to dictionary.com it means: "a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another." She didn't express regret, remorse or sorrow. She just didn't want me to hold it against her. Not the same thing. It was a halfway effort.
Now I always try to think about something related to Jesus Christ in all these posts. I try to think about how I can apply this to my everyday. The one thing that came to mind is charity. According to the Bible Dictionary, charity is: "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deed or benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive." So giving money to a good cause is not charity, but the feeling of charity may be the prompting to do so. It is pure love, best described as unconditional love.
A little over two years ago, my bishop told me to talk to my then-boyfriend, now-husband, about getting married. I didn't know how to ask and he told me "with charity". It took a couple weeks to get it. I had to ask, loving my boyfriend, regardless of the answer I may hear. Needless to say we're happy with the final outcome, but I digress.
Charity is best described in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. We often see this passage using love in place of charity, but it's important to use charity. Love and charity are not the same. Love is a part of charity, but not all of charity. The Apostle Paul writes:
(1) Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
(2) And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all the mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
(3) And though, I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
(4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.
(5) Doth not behave itself unseemingly, seeked not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.
(6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
(7) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
(8) Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; where there be tongues, they shall cease; where there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
(9) For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
(10) But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
(11) When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
(12) For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
(13) And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
So in the end of it all, because I try hard to have charity for everyone (and no I'm not perfect) the action is forgiven. Not forgotten, but forgiven. Apologies require being humble with no pride so when talking to someone you only see on a soccer pitch and should apologize, I see where it can be diffcult. This is where we could all use some work, I'm sure. Pride is a tough pill to swallow, but the end result of humility is worth it. I've been there. It's tough, but it's possible. In the wise words of Yoda, "Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try." If it were as simple as that.
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
In this league, there are some teams that get a little TOO competitive given that it's a recreational league. They get angry when calls don't go their way. They kick the balls really hard, potentially causing injury to other players. They slam people smaller than themselves against the walls causing actual injuries. They trip. They push. They mouth off to the referee. You get the idea. Anyway, a few weeks ago, we were playing this team we've played before and this gal was mouthing off loudly after one of our players had been injured and I told her to be quiet and let the referee call the game. I think I told her, "Just stop talking." When she didn't, I said, "Shut up!" I was escorting our injured player off the field at the time and constantly running mouth really wasn't necessary.
Well the game continued after a moment or two, but it became more heated on both sides. Eventually, the mouthy gal and I were marking (guarding) one another when I gained advantage by poking the ball away from her by putting my legs between hers, a perfectly legal move. I didn't knock her down, but she seemed stunned I was that close to her. Later, near my team's goal, we were marking one another again when the ball was passed to her. In our efforts to gain control of the ball, she rolled her foot over the top of the ball, tripped over my feet and fell to the ground. As she was trying to get up, she swung in an effort to punch me. I did nothing, but walked away. Nothing was said about the incident until a teammate mentioned it to me after the game.
So last night, we played this team again. The only heated moment was when a guy didn't like the referee's call about a handball, but really things were fine. At one point, this gal and I were marking one another again near her team's goal. She says to me, "Hey no hard feelings about the game a few weeks ago?" I responded with "I just don't like being swung at." In my mind, this was NOT an apology.
I have children. They do and say things to one another to hurt feelings and all that. When I get involved apologies happen. Words like "I'm sorry..." and "I apologize..." come from their mouths. They acknowledge what they did wrong and accept responsibility for their actions. But what the gal said to me wasn't any of that. A friend of mine said, "Humble enough to suggest guilt, proud enough not to say, "I'm sorry,"" He said it was a halfway effort. He's right. But why make the effort it you're not going to go all the way?
So as I was contemplating what to say here, I thought about forgiveness and forgetting. Now I forgive her behavior, but she won't know that unless she apologizes, because she hasn't acknowledged what she did. However, I won't forget her behavior, at least so I don't get sucker-punched the next time we play and she's frustrated. I looked up the definition of apology and according to dictionary.com it means: "a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another." She didn't express regret, remorse or sorrow. She just didn't want me to hold it against her. Not the same thing. It was a halfway effort.
Now I always try to think about something related to Jesus Christ in all these posts. I try to think about how I can apply this to my everyday. The one thing that came to mind is charity. According to the Bible Dictionary, charity is: "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deed or benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive." So giving money to a good cause is not charity, but the feeling of charity may be the prompting to do so. It is pure love, best described as unconditional love.
A little over two years ago, my bishop told me to talk to my then-boyfriend, now-husband, about getting married. I didn't know how to ask and he told me "with charity". It took a couple weeks to get it. I had to ask, loving my boyfriend, regardless of the answer I may hear. Needless to say we're happy with the final outcome, but I digress.
Charity is best described in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. We often see this passage using love in place of charity, but it's important to use charity. Love and charity are not the same. Love is a part of charity, but not all of charity. The Apostle Paul writes:
(1) Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
(2) And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all the mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
(3) And though, I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
(4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.
(5) Doth not behave itself unseemingly, seeked not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.
(6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
(7) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
(8) Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; where there be tongues, they shall cease; where there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
(9) For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
(10) But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
(11) When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
(12) For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
(13) And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
So in the end of it all, because I try hard to have charity for everyone (and no I'm not perfect) the action is forgiven. Not forgotten, but forgiven. Apologies require being humble with no pride so when talking to someone you only see on a soccer pitch and should apologize, I see where it can be diffcult. This is where we could all use some work, I'm sure. Pride is a tough pill to swallow, but the end result of humility is worth it. I've been there. It's tough, but it's possible. In the wise words of Yoda, "Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try." If it were as simple as that.
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Let's Review Sass
So at the beginning of the week, I hadn't gotten much sleep because I was so far behind on homework. I'm a full time student and I have children so when people start getting sick, I focus on being a mom and the student stuff falls by the wayside. <Sigh> Oh well! So I sacrificed a LOT of sleep and thought for sure I would want to write about it when I got to the end of the week. As it turns out, this is as much as I want to mention it because I had a great conversation, short but great, nonetheless, with my bishop as we walked out of the church this afternoon.
I had been speaking with the Elders, the full-time missionaries serving in our ward, about my non-member husband and how we could get him to read scriptures. I'm really not patient enough, but we discussed it. As I was finishing up with the Elders, I was telling them about the snarky comment I made to my husband, Craig, about his attempt to make me feel bad for asking him to leave work to come home and have dinner with us. In order to feed the Elders in my home, I'm dependent on him to be there. Rules are rules after all!
I mean really, is it too much to ask him to be home by 6pm when he's worked all week until 6:30pm or later and begun his days between 6:30 & 7:15am? I don't think it is, but he tried to make me feel bad for pulling him from work to be here to have dinner with the Elders. <sigh> ANYWAY! I didn't feel bad and asked him if he was trying to make me feel guilty. I think he was so I just told him I would start scheduling them on Saturdays instead. So there! I am a sassy pants and this is what I was telling my bishop.
I ended up telling him I save no sass for my husband. He gets it all. Bishop said no wife should. If she's holding any sass back, she needs to stop. Wow! A man who believes it's correct that a wife should be sassy to her hubby. Now neither one of us are saying this should be an all the time thing, but when you're not asking much of a person, then by all means, SASS AWAY!
And let's just call my house what it is... It's a matriarchy. If you're not sure what that means, it means it's ruled by women. I am a matriarch and I'm PROUD of it. My husband likes to tell people he wears the pants in the family. One of his wise co-workers agreed and had this to say, "But she tells you what color." Behind every good man is a sassy woman. A woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Now I'm not talking about being selfish or self-centered. I'm just talking about understanding needs. I NEED my husband home before 7:30pm from time-to-time because I LIKE him. I like to see his face and know he's ok. I LIKE to have him in the house. I LIKE watching TV with him. I LIKE his dumb jokes. He makes me laugh. I LIKE to laugh.
Do I know he has a job and that's important? Yes! But I also know we're married and I plan to be around a LOT longer than his job so it would be nice to have a husband, not just a roommate that shares a bed with me. I love therefore I sass and that's that.
So to bring some Gospel into this God made Eve to be a help meet to Adam (Genesis 2:18). I am Craig's help meet, meaing a worthy or appropriate assistant, but I can't appropriately or worthily assist him if he's not here to assist. I can't massage his shoulders or hands, feed him a hot dinner, listen to his news of the day, and the like, if he's not home.
And that's my rear view... Sass is blast when used with love.
I had been speaking with the Elders, the full-time missionaries serving in our ward, about my non-member husband and how we could get him to read scriptures. I'm really not patient enough, but we discussed it. As I was finishing up with the Elders, I was telling them about the snarky comment I made to my husband, Craig, about his attempt to make me feel bad for asking him to leave work to come home and have dinner with us. In order to feed the Elders in my home, I'm dependent on him to be there. Rules are rules after all!
I mean really, is it too much to ask him to be home by 6pm when he's worked all week until 6:30pm or later and begun his days between 6:30 & 7:15am? I don't think it is, but he tried to make me feel bad for pulling him from work to be here to have dinner with the Elders. <sigh> ANYWAY! I didn't feel bad and asked him if he was trying to make me feel guilty. I think he was so I just told him I would start scheduling them on Saturdays instead. So there! I am a sassy pants and this is what I was telling my bishop.
I ended up telling him I save no sass for my husband. He gets it all. Bishop said no wife should. If she's holding any sass back, she needs to stop. Wow! A man who believes it's correct that a wife should be sassy to her hubby. Now neither one of us are saying this should be an all the time thing, but when you're not asking much of a person, then by all means, SASS AWAY!
And let's just call my house what it is... It's a matriarchy. If you're not sure what that means, it means it's ruled by women. I am a matriarch and I'm PROUD of it. My husband likes to tell people he wears the pants in the family. One of his wise co-workers agreed and had this to say, "But she tells you what color." Behind every good man is a sassy woman. A woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Now I'm not talking about being selfish or self-centered. I'm just talking about understanding needs. I NEED my husband home before 7:30pm from time-to-time because I LIKE him. I like to see his face and know he's ok. I LIKE to have him in the house. I LIKE watching TV with him. I LIKE his dumb jokes. He makes me laugh. I LIKE to laugh.
Do I know he has a job and that's important? Yes! But I also know we're married and I plan to be around a LOT longer than his job so it would be nice to have a husband, not just a roommate that shares a bed with me. I love therefore I sass and that's that.
So to bring some Gospel into this God made Eve to be a help meet to Adam (Genesis 2:18). I am Craig's help meet, meaing a worthy or appropriate assistant, but I can't appropriately or worthily assist him if he's not here to assist. I can't massage his shoulders or hands, feed him a hot dinner, listen to his news of the day, and the like, if he's not home.
And that's my rear view... Sass is blast when used with love.
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